Its past 8 in the morning, and i'm pissed off like hell. I'll probably strangle anyone who tries to buzz me off right now, i'm that pissed off. Probably because i've been staring at this bloody notepad screen for more than 15 hours now. 5 assignments, over a 100,000 words to type, hundreds of graphs to make, huge data to analyse, a test to prepare for, 7 full course exams next week, a pissed off friend somewhere in Europe, a fucked up personal life, a guilt conscious that i carry from years ago...
All those great sayings are flashing in my inner brain right now...wen the goin get tough...., the story of the phoenix... will i be able to relate to them after these 10 days... a small voice in me says i will...writing this is already making me feel better.
I know that if i survive the next 10 days, i'll get stronger. IF.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Reason-able?
I guess a blog was long overdue for me.Many of my friends used to be surprised when they learnt that i didn't write blogs.Wasn't surprising for me though.I am quite a reluctant writer.Often have i wondered why.I guess one reason is that i think fast,faster than I type or write, and i hate to play catching up.Or maybe i think too complex and my vocabulary skills aren't good enough to substitute those thoughts with words.But the most feasible reason that i have found is that I love to keep my personal thoughts just that - personal.I guess that's why i hate writing testimonials as well.Even though i might come across as a overtly friendly guy, i have quite extreme feelings about people.I either really really like someone or i really really hate someone.Very rarely would i be neutral about someone-and that too in the first couple of months after I meet him/her.However, these feelings are not sacrosant at all.But, its easier for me to start hating someone i hitherto liked than it is to start liking someone i hitherto hated.Not that the latter hasn't happened, but very rarely.
I guess that is one reason why i can't really say that i have a big friends' circle.Although i like to socialiaze and stay in groups rather than alone, there are few whom I'd trust with a spare key of my house-and trust me, this feeling is more than reciprocated.
More on this issue later,but my thoughts ar already way too ahead of me.
And yeah, before i forget, let me thank my darling buddy amrita who made this blog possible. She went for dinner and took two hours to come back...poor me had nothing to kill time with, then i stumbled onto this idea.And that reminds me, i need to write a little something for that confused lass.
I guess that is one reason why i can't really say that i have a big friends' circle.Although i like to socialiaze and stay in groups rather than alone, there are few whom I'd trust with a spare key of my house-and trust me, this feeling is more than reciprocated.
More on this issue later,but my thoughts ar already way too ahead of me.
And yeah, before i forget, let me thank my darling buddy amrita who made this blog possible. She went for dinner and took two hours to come back...poor me had nothing to kill time with, then i stumbled onto this idea.And that reminds me, i need to write a little something for that confused lass.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Its almost a year now
Sitting on the footboard of my compartment of the Guwahati-Puri Express, I quietly puffed away at my third cigarette of the hour and gazed into the inky black sky. The last six months of my life had been amazing. Cracking Xat with zero preparation and making into a top b-school had started to make me believe in destiny. But the cold wind that was ravishing whatever hair that was left on my head did little to distract me from thinking about the next six months.
It looked a rosy picture. Rs 7.12 lakhs as average salary, faculties who are considered to be the best in the business, amazing infrastructure, 240 prospective new friends… mmmm, a mouth watering proposition indeed. But then, the mind is an amazing thing. It always finds a tail for every head. The last academic book read- two years ago. Never studied during graduation, bar the last ten days before the exams. Bhubaneswar?? Never been there…they say it gets oppressively hot during the summers. And what about the food? The water?? Is it high on iron content? (Would I continue to lose hair and be left with none at the end of two years?)
Thankfully, I realized that the nicotine wasn’t exactly helping me to attain enlightment. So I flicked the stub into the dark, and swore for the umpteenth time in three months that this was my last drag.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bhubaneswar…finally…14th June, 2006. Hey!! Oriya seems to be so similar to Assamese.. I could understand most of what the porter was chattering away as we made to the auto stand. Phew , that’s a relief. Will definitely be able to learn the language in super-quick time.
“Bhaiyya, XIMB jaana hai.” Bhaiyya looked up from the local daily he was reading, with a blank expression. “Xavier Square?” I said with more hope…bhaiyya just shrugged. I was about to try my luck with the next bhaiyya in queue, when I suddenly remembered what a senior had once scrapped me in orkut. “Jhabier!!” A sudden smile erupted on his face, as if he had just been told that I was Bill Gates and was asking for his daughter’s hand. Within 20 seconds, we were, scooting in and out of traffic, almost killing a stray dog and denting a Maruti 800. XIMB, here I come!!
Lesson one learnt:: Its called Jhabier…learn the accent before you learn the language. In a few days, I was about to learn that Jhabier is the magic word that can open any door in Bhubaneswar.
Standing in front of the gates of my new Home, I was soaking in the view. Not bad, but it looks bigger in the pictures that I saw in Ximbians. And why does the field look as if the grass hasn’t been trimmed since ages. Hmm… lower your expectations, old guy!
Found that I’d been assigned room no. C-100. The better part of the afternoon and evening was spent unpacking, while the little voice inside was constantly bugging me… “too small, the room is too small.” Unpacked and went for a well earned bath..atleast the washroom was ok, phew!!
That evening, after the bath which didn’t help in lowering the body temperature, I went out to explore the campus. Bumped into a few batch mates I had interacted with in the XIMB yahoo group, and the lonely me was soon in company. We checked out the x-café (priorities, you see!!), the gym, the badminton court, the library and the pan shops across the roads. Soon I discovered that one could find anything and everything there which a student needed during his two year stint! And by anything and everything, I do mean anything and everything.
Dinner time!! The food was actually not bad. But we were blissfully unaware of the fact that our opinion was going to change for the worse within the next few weeks.
The next day, it was rise and shine time pretty early. It was the registration day, our first brush with official activities. Completed the activities, which also involved posing for my worst snap that would ever be clicked. The rest of the day and night was mainly spent in brainstorming with my new group of friends about the cell phone connection to opt for, and also trying to guess when our laptops, or as they should be rightly called, notepads, would be made available to us. We were to learn pretty soon that in XIMB, you guess at your own peril!
The rest of the week went by in a flash, so fast that now that I sit to pen down the details, I don’t really remember. But what I do remember is that bonds were formed, some more strong than the others. Opinions were formed, perceptions were defined and then re-defined. And I never realized when I fell in love with the campus. The grass in the outfield never looked greener, the walkways couldn’t have been serener, the hostel rooms couldn’t have been cozier and the crowd couldn’t have been more rocking. And as is always the case when you fall in love, it brought about a sense of responsibility in the truant child in me, the responsibility to carry forward the baton of legacy, the responsibility of being a XIMBIAN. But unlike it is always in love, this time, my knees didn’t hurt.
Its almost a year now, but the love story continues.
It looked a rosy picture. Rs 7.12 lakhs as average salary, faculties who are considered to be the best in the business, amazing infrastructure, 240 prospective new friends… mmmm, a mouth watering proposition indeed. But then, the mind is an amazing thing. It always finds a tail for every head. The last academic book read- two years ago. Never studied during graduation, bar the last ten days before the exams. Bhubaneswar?? Never been there…they say it gets oppressively hot during the summers. And what about the food? The water?? Is it high on iron content? (Would I continue to lose hair and be left with none at the end of two years?)
Thankfully, I realized that the nicotine wasn’t exactly helping me to attain enlightment. So I flicked the stub into the dark, and swore for the umpteenth time in three months that this was my last drag.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bhubaneswar…finally…14th June, 2006. Hey!! Oriya seems to be so similar to Assamese.. I could understand most of what the porter was chattering away as we made to the auto stand. Phew , that’s a relief. Will definitely be able to learn the language in super-quick time.
“Bhaiyya, XIMB jaana hai.” Bhaiyya looked up from the local daily he was reading, with a blank expression. “Xavier Square?” I said with more hope…bhaiyya just shrugged. I was about to try my luck with the next bhaiyya in queue, when I suddenly remembered what a senior had once scrapped me in orkut. “Jhabier!!” A sudden smile erupted on his face, as if he had just been told that I was Bill Gates and was asking for his daughter’s hand. Within 20 seconds, we were, scooting in and out of traffic, almost killing a stray dog and denting a Maruti 800. XIMB, here I come!!
Lesson one learnt:: Its called Jhabier…learn the accent before you learn the language. In a few days, I was about to learn that Jhabier is the magic word that can open any door in Bhubaneswar.
Standing in front of the gates of my new Home, I was soaking in the view. Not bad, but it looks bigger in the pictures that I saw in Ximbians. And why does the field look as if the grass hasn’t been trimmed since ages. Hmm… lower your expectations, old guy!
Found that I’d been assigned room no. C-100. The better part of the afternoon and evening was spent unpacking, while the little voice inside was constantly bugging me… “too small, the room is too small.” Unpacked and went for a well earned bath..atleast the washroom was ok, phew!!
That evening, after the bath which didn’t help in lowering the body temperature, I went out to explore the campus. Bumped into a few batch mates I had interacted with in the XIMB yahoo group, and the lonely me was soon in company. We checked out the x-café (priorities, you see!!), the gym, the badminton court, the library and the pan shops across the roads. Soon I discovered that one could find anything and everything there which a student needed during his two year stint! And by anything and everything, I do mean anything and everything.
Dinner time!! The food was actually not bad. But we were blissfully unaware of the fact that our opinion was going to change for the worse within the next few weeks.
The next day, it was rise and shine time pretty early. It was the registration day, our first brush with official activities. Completed the activities, which also involved posing for my worst snap that would ever be clicked. The rest of the day and night was mainly spent in brainstorming with my new group of friends about the cell phone connection to opt for, and also trying to guess when our laptops, or as they should be rightly called, notepads, would be made available to us. We were to learn pretty soon that in XIMB, you guess at your own peril!
The rest of the week went by in a flash, so fast that now that I sit to pen down the details, I don’t really remember. But what I do remember is that bonds were formed, some more strong than the others. Opinions were formed, perceptions were defined and then re-defined. And I never realized when I fell in love with the campus. The grass in the outfield never looked greener, the walkways couldn’t have been serener, the hostel rooms couldn’t have been cozier and the crowd couldn’t have been more rocking. And as is always the case when you fall in love, it brought about a sense of responsibility in the truant child in me, the responsibility to carry forward the baton of legacy, the responsibility of being a XIMBIAN. But unlike it is always in love, this time, my knees didn’t hurt.
Its almost a year now, but the love story continues.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
