Use and Throw

The mid to late 1990’s saw the advent of the “use and throw” era as far as the product market was concerned. This could be seen in the increasing number of such type of ball pens where one didn’t have to buy a refill. Extensive market research showed that the primary users of ball pens, students, had concrete reasons to get attracted to such a concept. Students, like me, were liable to be careless and lose a ball pen just days after its purchase, so it made sense to offer them a single time use pen at a lower cost than a refill-able pen at an obviously higher cost.
But that’s just the tip of the ice-berg when we talk about the use and throw concept, the reason being that this “path breaking” concept can well be applied to relationships as well.
Let us consider the first relationship that an individual gets into outside his circle of family members – friendship. Now aren’t we choosy when we make friends? Damn right we are. It has to be someone who makes us laugh, someone we can trust with our house key when we are out on vacation, someone we can pour our heart out to in case of certain “exigencies”, the latter being a common thing during the growing up age of adolescence and puberty, and just after an year or so into our marriage. So, its not a selfless motive that makes us choose friends – social acceptance is the technical term for it. So, while it is social acceptance that makes us seek out friends, it’s the potential of a good time that we might have in their company that makes us keep them. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Not quite, not yet.
In today’s age of networking websites and the related net-based software applications, social acceptance is not that hard to buy. The internet provides even the introverts among us to let their hair down and gain access into circles that they might otherwise have had second, third or fourth thoughts about. Further, growing and easier access to movies and other literary works allows even those without an inborn talent at humour to be able to pass off wise cracks with relative ease. So, the pool of people one can choose to have a friend from is much wider and broader and deeper than it was a couple of decades ago. Hence, one always keeps on meeting newer people (newer, hence more mystical, and hence more interesting). And it’s easy, as mentioned earlier, to approach anyone and sweet talk for a couple of hours and get the initial access at a “friendship”.
But then, the honeymoon period gets over real fast, say, in a couple of months, or in case of individuals who continue to live in a state of self-denial about having chosen the wrong person to talk to in the first place, even more time to cut away those strings that connected him/her to “that amazing person”. And hence, what you get is a “use and throw” friend, made especially for those among us who are careless enough to choose the wrong person to make friends with.
But what if the “cutting off” isn’t mutual? Problems, you think?? Nah!! Isn’t Man the most mature of all animals? He may miss the other person, shed a few silent tears as well, but a few days, weeks or months later, depending on His maturity levels, He will be back on the social e-network, seeking out newer individuals, and cracking the same old wisecracks all over again to gain attention.

NOTE: "He,His,Him" etc refer to both the sexes, and in certain cases, the third sex as well!!

Still a Social Animal?

There is this big billboard across the road from my office that reads something like this:

BACK BY PUBLIC DEMAND
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
EVENING SHOW ONLY
PARENTAL ADVISORY
DON'T BE ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOUR NEIGHBOURS

XYZ JHAROKHA - THE NO NEIGHBOUR APARTMENTS
CONTACT: **** ***** ******* *****

This words were accompanied by a photo that showed the shadow of a girl quite well endowed behind a window screen, i guess taking a bath.

It got my kinda thinking. I was reminded of the good old days of my early youth when I used to have a huge crush on the girl next door. Years later, i came to know that her younger sister had a crush on me, but then, I had expected that all along. Infact, I used to try hard to impress her (the elder one, that is) by riding my cycle real fast in the lane that separated our houses.

Our family always had very good relations with the neighbours, and that used to be a common trend in all the smaller cities of India during those day- the early and mid nineties. Lots of infants from the neighbours' homes virtually grew up in our house, coz my mother was a housewife and had loads of patience, the latter quality she swears came from her experience in raising me. These kids used to adore me, and at the risk of being called immodest, i claim that i used to be their hero.

Now, we have a bigger house back home, the city itself has developed into a fast bustling one, and i have been out of my home since mid 2004. But today when i visit home for a week or so once a year, i can feel the change that has come about - culturally. I hardly get to see the people who stay next to us, all u get to see is a door close shut with a video camera enabled calling bell staring at ur face.

I guess this is a fall out of the way our country has moved forward economically. We work hard, spend more time in office, and for the homemakers, the daily soaps that run on the idiot box are more important than socializing. Is man still a social animal?

And in many ways, i have become a product of the same environment. I spend almost 14 hours out of home on weekdays, and out of the remaining 10, prefer to sleep 7 hours. The office is the new home, and relationships and crushes develop here now, and not in your neighbourhood. I wish my kids could know how i feels to have a crush on your next door neighbour... after all, its all a part of your growing up.

Bored

Another lazy summer afternoon. But these days of laziness won't last for long though. My summer internships beckons in a couple of days, and i'm sure that would mean no orkuttin, no blogging, no YM and no Gtalk.

Not that i'm complaining. Can't wait to get started on the project and get it over with. Coz can't wait to get back on campus. This summmers has and will continue to be a sneak peek at what lies in store for me next year when i pass out of my B School. WOuld hate to leave my student life for a second time.

Getting hurt is fun

It is funny how often I keep on going back to the past. Pretty ironical too, because “live for the present, let go of the past” is something I keep on harping to those souls in distress who come to me for counselling during or after their “personal problems”. Infact, if the Indian job market happens to go bust in the coming 12 months, I have an alternate career option to fall back upon – Agony Uncle.

Jokes apart, it is not without reasons that I look back to the past. It teaches more than a 3 credit course in a B school does. But, are we willing to learn? I know, I am not. Been there, done that – mistakes, I mean. And swore that the mistakes won’t ever be repeated. But to think of it, wouldn’t life be a hell of a boring place if we were to go all picture perfect.

At the risk of being branded as a freak or a weirdo, I proclaim that I like getting hurt. Remember the NBA ad that used to be aired on Star Sports in the mid ‘90s (there I go, back to the past) – “pain is just a form of releasing energy”? I kind of can relate o it now… ofcourse we are talking about mental pain here, a fast cricket ball hitting me on the knuckles still brings a grimace on my face.

So what happens when one gets mentally hurt? And what are their benefits?

•Shed a few silent tears – they clean the eyes

•Trudge to the nearest bar for some beer – beer gives you an appetite, which I’m sure most would agree, disappears when one is mentally hurt

•Do a self-evaluation – one should do that quite regularly… in this age of fast times, we often become strangers to ourselves.

•Swear that you will get even one day – brings in a spirit of competitiveness (this is specially important for the introverts among us)

•Teaches you that the world is an unfair place – so the next time you hurt someone, you will carry less emotional baggage and guilt about the whole affair

•Helps you do a reality check – you come to know that you can’t trust the concerned person before its too late (or, later)

•Gives you stuff to write upon on a hot lazy summer afternoon – helps in killing time, and gives you the sadistic pleasure of knowing that one day, some unsuspecting soul must have wasted more than a couple of minutes in reading the crap that you have written.


And that’s why, friends, Romans and countrymen, I love committing the same mistakes over and over again and keep getting hurt.